Dear Diary,
“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
Hi,
I woke up quite late today around 10:40 I guess I was having a sound sleep coz I slept at usual time and I was sleeping peacefully as I knew no one is going to ring the bell as both the maids were on leave.
I was in the bed till 1:30 am, I started my day after that I made my favourite tea for myself the lemon mint tea and after that I was hungry I ate food the leftovers from yesterday.
I called him but he disconnected it and texted that he will call when he is home but didn't called me back, but I read the messages from notifications and didn't marked them as seen. Later in the evening he texted that you did an amazing job they were quite happy the bloggers and said Thank you for it. I again read it from the notification.
Dear diary, I don't know what I want but I think I want to leave, I want to leave everything behind, because I know as he mentioned yesterday that he is going to meet one of two girls today like all alone, that means things are serious there, they will have to spend time if they are trying to get married, they will talk to each other if they like each other today or whatever. Then why I am here, like definitely it will hurt me seeing everything change before my eyes like till yesterday all of his time was mine but seeing him going to someone else is like___ I will have to see him getting close to someone and drifting away from me obviously I can't hurt myself more over this thing. I cannot have many more sad days in my life. It hurts so much now.
And it will hurt my self respect as well afterall all the things between us started coz of the marriage proposal only. Idk why I kept it so long like 6 months already and it will be 7months in 2-3 days.
I have decided to let go of everything. Sometimes letting go is difficult but it is necessary for me at this point.
I know that it was my idea to start this pages and I really worked hard on it from the beginning as I knew like I know the page is mine the decision is mine, I can do anything and everything whatever I want to. I spent my time, money without expecting anything in return, and when the page and restuarant has really started growing and recognition I have to leave it, all the restaurants he is converting from Takeaway to dining we had so many plans for them, but let it be, its none of my business now.
I will leave everything silently without letting him know although I will not let him suffer, I will make and schedule posts for next 2weeks, I will shortlist 5-6people out of 100s of applications on internshala which we were hiring for our startup. I will do many more things.
After that I will remove myself from everywhere I don't know I have access to his every account and many more, how to get rid of them after that I will have something to advice him and I will block him everywhere so that I am not texting or calling him again.
It is necessary for my good.
Anyways the other half of day was kind of okay, obviously I am tired having a back and stomach ache and headache as well now.
I hope I could be fine and happy too, I will start going to gym again after 5-5 days.
Okay diary, I wrote everything that was in my mind.
I will sleep now although I had to finish things as soon as possible but not feeling like doing anything right now.
PS- I wish someone could have hug me tight and long so that I could feel better and easy. I want these long comforting hugs so that all my sadness can vanish but I have no one.
Okay I am holding my pillow tight and trying to sleep.
Good night 💤
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