September 01, 2022

 

Dear Diary,


I have started reading study material for interview and everything is going over my head. I don't feel confident at all about my skills. 


I need 1 month of studying before clearing any interview. But I don't have that much time because I already applied for resignation.


Now my manager told me he would talk with senior manager to retain me. This week due to Ganesh Chaturthi my senior manager was not available. So, my manager said he will discuss tomorrow. 


As much as I know my senior manager, he won't try to retain me... But if it happens it would be good for now. Usually no one wants to be retained. But for me its like I want Gurgaon location and I already have office in Gurgaon, I also have many leaves pending... I can easily apply for leaves during marriage and honeymoon without worrying. Also... I don't have to worry if I will get Gurgaon location or not. For my technology very few opportunities are there for Gurgaon. 


So, the best thing would be to be retained. All I need right now is to get a minimum salary... Like what I am earning right now is wayyyyy below market standards... So, atleast I need to get a decent salary before marriage... 


My problem is and has always been that I am very bad at expressing myself. So, I perform poorly when it comes to presentation and all...


Even when it comes to relationship I have poor communication skills. I don't understand why I feel a certain way... I am lucky because Bae understands me... 


Its kind of insulting to get this less salary , that's what I feel. I sometimes think it would have been nice if my dad allowed me to study B.Tech in NIT durgapur. I might have earned so much more now. My life would have been so different ... Anyways... Atleast I got to teach my brother Maths... And without being good at maths he would not have been where he is now. 


I will let you know if I am retained.


P.s. its common knowledge that they don't offer much to retain. But I am hopeful... What I am asking for is 75% salary hike btw. I should be studying now.



Regards,

Anne








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