Dear Diary, I was sad today too and there were two things that triggered me further. The furst was that Belle told one of her guy friends about me wanting to go see Ponyo this friday. I told her yesterday about it when we had a phonecall concerning her therapist situation (She cant decide whether or not she wants to do it and the therapist is getting annoyed with her) I mentioned that I might go there but unfortunately nobody else said they wanted to yet. Of course I didnt tell her about me being Spike cause of Spike. So today she tells me that she told this guy about it and asked which movie it was again and the exact date. I told her the stuff, but also said that I didnt want to come cause nobody from the group would be there. Then she said stuff like what if guy x was in your group? I said that I had wanted to go there with specific people of course and that she couldnt know this but this was really upsetting me and asked her to stop talking about it. Then she continued, suggesting that I wanted to go with Knight with a 🙃 smiley. I said that she doesnt understand and repeated that I wanted her to stop texting me about this. She got angry at ME then, even though she wouldnt stop with it. Now I'm basically ignoring her for a while. Even if she meant well just asking me to go see a movie with some guy was rude right? I met him before but its not like we are friends. And clearly she understood that I was hoping to see a girl based on her comment with Knight. It also upset me because it showed me that I'm just one of a few guy friends she keeps around as support. And she is allowed to do that of course, I always knew she had other guy friends. But trying to make us go out together is just so rude.
The other thing that triggered me was seeing a really stupid "meme" on twitter. It was a pic of a bunch of animes like My Dress Up Darling and dont Tease me Nagataro, which feature a girl being interested in a shy guy. Amd the text read: The animes are the reason otaku men think that girls just fall from heaven.
That is just so infuriating to me. Is it wrong for someone to hope that someone might like them? Why is the gender important? Is it against the law that a girl falls in love with a guy on her own, without him agressively courting her first? So its ok if guys like girls on their own, but not the other way around? I freaking hate that so many people think like this. This is the reason dating is so screwed up. I hate it here. I wish I could just skip the 20 or so years it will take for people to realize how sexist and wrong that is and live my twenties in a time where genders are actually equal.