August 10, 2022

 

Dear Diary,

Hey, long time no see, I know because I'm not in the mood to make idle chit-chat to you and on my observations, people who use here open their hearts instead of sharing daily life that's the reason why I guess we don't have any real friends to talk. Anyway, I’ll tell you why I've been not here for two days probably you're just saying that come on pull yourself together, life is short just simple no matter what happens in your life. I'm here both to improve my English and to witness that people’s feelings. A few days ago, some people who are Turkish just trash talking about my English level I’d say I never claimed that I speak like a native speaker or I'm an expert in linguistics. Learning English and communication is my ambition as I can broaden my Horizon even if I’m not able to visit another country, yeap currently I can't afford it. He just told me you're exactly a sucker and you're so so beginner, you ought to give up on improving your English look at your level you're not making the process forget that. It's hard to improve or learn the language, after a certain age. Even though I promised myself that I can't let people break my heart it's not worth it just believe yourself. As a result, I was sobbing all day and snapped. I know, at times I feel stuck or at times I speak fluently it depends on my feelings or my concentration when it comes to meeting with people, I'm messed up with this I guess I don't like people, I don't like even myself. I need to live in which makes me peaceful. Why do people do like this instead of backing up, why? Don't we have to be ruthless?  The bottom line is I feel horrible, lonely and desperate. I hope that I'll beat up thank you for taking the time, wish me luck 🙏

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