August 01, 2022 (31st July)

 

Dear Diary,

"Sometimes love is about letting go too."

Hii,

Today was a normal day, treated it like a Sunday, cleaning, cooking etc. 

Everything was fine and my mood was good too. I feel that I am so spontaneous person I can't stick to my thoughts for longer periods. 

After talking to Arihant when I sat doing nothing, many questions came in my mind and I started questioning myself then like do I behave like this or this. I have 2-3 questions which I want to ask from S now until then I can't assume answers for them myself but what if he says yes to them, I want to ask that does he feel any kind of pressure from my side? Am I forcing him to stay? Do he even feel anything for me or he is just hanging around coz I give him proper attention? Attention is the thing I guess everyone wants. I want to ask that after started talking to me does he have felt attraction to someone else there even for a very short period of time, I guess I shouldn't ask this I may be questioning his integrity. But I definitely want to ask if he is forcefully here coz I am not letting him go completely or he really wants to stay, but sometimes in recent too I have seen him getting sentimental over the things that we can't be together although he didn't say it but I can see it on his face in his eyes and why does he always comes to me whenever I say goodbye and that day he said too that why I am always saying that I am leaving.  Does he really wants to  end things and want to move on to the next person? If his answer will be yes I will back out for sure this time.

But after that I watched a poetry and it completely changed my mind, I started feeling positive about things relating to it.


Dear diary, I am sleepy now and it's 1:41 I want to wake up early tomorrow.


Good night coe.

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