July 09, 2022

 

Dear Diary,

So there's this guy named Swagat.

He is my uncle's friend. Not that elder...might be 6 years older than me.

So , I saw him for the very first time when I was in 9th grade. My uncle invited him to a wedding at our house . Well...I was attracted to him. I thought it was infatuation and the feelings would fade. 

        I am 21 right now. Few days ago one of my friends got married. Her husband is of the same age as Swagat. Few of our friends said that he is older , they won't marry someone with that age gap.  They asked for my opinion. Somehow swagat crossed my mind like a lightning. And I said , "I won't marry a guy that older than me. But damn, if that guy is Swagat I will marry him straight away. ,."

         Well honestly he is way out of my league.  maybe he'll reject me.. Maybe he has high standards. Maybe he won't be interested. But at some point I think I will try. I won't give up without trying once..

     I have seen him only thrice . But infatuation wouldn't have lasted for almost 7 fucking years!! Even if there is 1% chance of him saying yes , I will give every fucking corner of my heart to this man.

    I want this man to love me more than I love him. Yea , I am a selfish woman longing for his love.

 But , if 

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