scum

Dear Diary, i struggle to feel like i matter. i feel as though my voice is a delicate whisper in a world polluted with noise.

i had that disgusting feeling in my chest again today, the only thing that made it go away was listening to or singing gloomy sunday. 

i can’t wait to get to therapy, i hope once i tell ann about all my feelings and work to process them, they won’t plague me anymore. 

i feel a lot of things, yet i can’t understand any feelings that aren’t physical. 

i’ve marked my body with the word “scum” and looking at it makes me happy, it makes me calm. i can’t wait for my next therapy session, it can’t come quick enough…