CryBaby's Dear Diary

Dear Diary, sometimes i relapse just so i can reset my tracker…. what a useless reason

Dear Diary, i hate it here in this head of mine. it’s perfect until my brain isn’t preoccupied anymore. think; all i do is think for hours on end, about nothing, about everything. about ideas of grandeur, and love, and conversations i’m far too much

Dear Diary, i haven’t been here in a while because i’ve been feeling good recently. things have been really good, but for the first time in a while i need to vent to an open void. i’m pissed, and i’m filled to the brim with bitterness. my brother has

Dear Diary, i try not to follow my peers online. i don’t really like many people so i’m not interested in seeing what they do on the daily. part of it also has to do with my own insecurities. i watch as everyone i grew up with is growing and having n

Dear Diary, i love to tell myself all the time that i ain’t shit. my mantra to myself is how useless i am and how little i matter, but as soon as someone else makes me feel that way it feels wrong? i keep this mantra to keep myself sane. i keep it s

Dear Diary, my relationship with food is complicated. i suppose i should preface with this a trigger warning. it’s nothing extreme, just complicated… the way i view my body fluctuates greatly, but i do find that i almost always pay attention to my s

Dear Diary, i had therapy today and it went pretty well. after that me, my brother and sister, ma, and stepdad all went out for lunch. it was a really nice meal and on the way back i rode in my brothers car and we listened to old 90s hip hop. my brot

Dear Diary, sometimes i start thinking about him. most of the time it’s just a fleeting thought, i can occupy myself rather easy, but sometimes i think about the time we spent together. i think about all the things i don’t want to remember. i thought

Dear Diary, i feel weird, as per usual. i miss my friend, and i feel an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. i don’t expect us to go back to the way things were before, and sometimes i’m accepting of that and other times i’m in denial. i find myself b

Dear Diary, i made a new internet pal a few days ago. it’s rare for me to find someone i enjoy talking to, and meeting people over the internet is so dull sometimes. with this person it felt so easy to talk to them right off the bat. i know realistic

Dear Diary, so my relation with my dad the first 14-15 years of my life was depressing. i found myself longing for his company and affection  often but he wasn’t interested in much aside from booze and women. my mom assured me often that he didn’t ca

Dear Diary, sometimes anxiety gnaws at my stomach and i feel nauseous, but i don’t really know the reason. i hadn’t had any anxiety inducing thoughts, nor am i in a stressful situation. it just appears out of the blue. i have a theory that it’s my bo

Dear Diary, sometimes i see things on the internet that make my skin crawl. it’s not what you’d expect, i’m comfortable with all kinds of morbid pictures and stories, gore and horror don’t typically bother me. what gets me most is when i see somethin

“i’m a fucking retard. i’m the stupidest son of a bitch on earth to have believed such obvious lies. someone like me? someone enjoy talking to me? someone miss me? someone caring about me? am i fucking delusional? i must’ve forgotten who i am.” i kno

Dear Diary, i find myself disappointed by every social interaction i have. maybe my ego is still fragile, but i internalize the smallest things and tear myself apart because of them. i’m not exactly an enjoyable person to be around, i can get along w