May 30, 2022

To whom it may concern,

I hope I haven't had one drink too many. I've been telling myself that I need to stop, and I'll do well, but then I'd feel good about not drinking and celebrate with a drink lol. 

My body is feeling it now. Almost 10 years of drinking and stress and my body is in pain. Not a whole lot of it, and I've gotten rid of the pain before when I'd take a break, but this feels a little worse.

My mind is still sharp but I can tell it's not as sharp. I'm afraid to get checked out but thanks to the Navy and the set of deployment orders I've received I'll have to get checked out before I go. 

I do feel better each day that I haven't had a drink, think I'm on day 3 now. I've learned it's best not to keep track, just do right by the day you have.

I'm going to replace my habit with new hobbies. One of them that I thought of on the fly today...tea!

I want to get deep into tea knowledge, what different teas do for the body and mind, how different regions affect how tea grows and it's effects. Indian tea vs British tea, what all that stuff that looks like flowers in the complicated looking tea does...stuff like that.

I have a hard time maintaining interest in new things but I believe that if I replace a bad habit with a good and similar one, and feel the benefits, I'll break free.

Just really hoping it isn't too late for me. Especially since I'm a father and I'll be getting married on Wednesday.

Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I'm sure things will get better. I always have a somewhat positive outlook on things. Thanks for acknowledging my existence.