May 26, 2022

Dear Diary,

There is so much stuff to do but I always feel so powerless and tired. I am learning to push myself and keep going. This is a very stressful and emotional because it offers a mental strength and practice and patience. Today I was able to stay focused on my online courses for +1hr after i felt down and depressed and affected by self doubt. But i pushed myself through this sh*t and was able to do my best for one hour more than i actually "felt like" 

I was not "motivated enough" to keep going but i did. and i felt more productive today. I will try my best to be better tomorrow…

I hate this mood swings but there is no cure for this kind of pain. I feel this pain mentally and physically. There is no pill on this planet to relief or fix it