May 24, 2022

Dear Diary,

This isn't my first time trying to write my own journal, but I have never started it online. I guess it's much more eaiser because I don't have to worry about aesthetic things, my hands won't get tired etc. And the fact, that a random unknown person maybe will read my story is kinda exciting. I mean I'm not sure about that I'll make this 'project' public, but who knows. 

• Sometimes I just want somebody to listen to me, and think about these stuffs in my head. (If you're a misterious somebody, I want to say sorry in advance bc I'm not native english, this is my second language, but I feel more comfortable writing in a foreign site. Love you, have an amazing day <3)
• So today... I woke up as a snail or idk, fall asleep at chemistry, had a fight with my boyfriend, had a terrible-horrible headache all day, i was starving duh and the school buffet didn't have any sandwiches today...so bad 
• But the argue with Máté is interesting...
• The whole shit started about 2pm. Yesterday he said, he had to go home earlirer today because of his older brother's birthday. I said it was totally fine, and i have a bus at 2 so i could go home by that. He mentioned he'll go to the bus stop so we'll meet. It's so good and so beautiful but at 1:50pm I was standing in the bus stop and he was nowhere. 2 minutes later he sent a text saying: i'm in the shopping center where are you. I got totally mad beacuse we set up the meeting and he's unwilling to pay attention... so i didn't answer the message, got on the bus. OMW home he called me three times, and P.Máté once. When I got home I texted him of course, and apologise blablabla and it's fine now. However, he didn't visit his brother bc his mom has fever. Poor woman, hope she's gonna be okay soon.
• Aaaaand we had (have) another argument. Around 6pm (today) he asked me to send a pic, bc he missed me, i said i was busy so maybe later. Then we had a normal conversation and i editet a pic: both of us had shells in our backs and we were standing at a wedding spot :D. He said it wasn't funny and asked me for a normal pic :(. I got a little annoyed, because he's so sassy and wilful. But after all (OMW to shower) i took a mirror selfie. He said he want one like I sent yesterday (bra pics duh) but i said i had no bra on. He tried to be funny and (AS A JOKE, he's not an asshole, remember this girl) said it's okay without a bra. Haha how funny. But I said I had enough of his behavior. Máté asked what's my problem. I said: nothing, I have some things to do, take a shower, do my homework, want to read my book etc; so good night, don't forget to go to bed in time and so on.
• Since this text he have sent me messages like 'i'm sorry', 'didn't want to hurt you', 'i love you', 'let me know if you see this', 'sweetie', and you know these average lines.
• Actually, personally i beliveve I overreacted it a little bit. He had a bad day, I had a bad day as well, it's hard to be patient with each other. I hope tomorrow I'll be able to talk to him normally.
• It started raining and lightning, it's so goof rn, I guess it'll be easy to sleep. Lately I've been suffering in insomnisa, I can't sleep, so alwasy tired and have a bad attitude.

To sum up, this day is 2/5, not THAT bad, but it wasn't good enough to get a '3'

The best thing: i got a 5 on my biology test

The worst thing: the argument with Máté

I learned: how to make a (knot) bracelet, but still need to practice

I'm thankful for: teacher Szalay 
I want to achieve tomorrow: finish my book (Az átverés-Szurdi András)

~ hope i'll be able to act normally around Máté, it's scary, i don't want to lose him

<3