April 28, 2022

I had 5 panic attacks today and i haven't recovered from them yet. I feel like i was runnig for hours but i sat on the bathroom floor crying and i could not breath. I felt like there is no escape... and i still feel that way. I can't stop overthinking and all those flashbacks - they are demons and they want to harm me. I want to escape from all this but i can't. There is no way to escape from this mental prison. I don't want to drink alcohol becaus i know that would be stupid and i don't want to become an alcoholic. all that i can do is praying to god. Without god i wouldn't be on this planet. I know god is with us. And i know that one day i will be proud of myself for all the sh*t i've been through - but saying this to myself doesn't help right now.