April 26, 2022

 

My head won't stop pounding.  A small part of me worries that there is something wrong with me and I'm dying slowly.  Another part of me hopes for this outcome. I know I might sound crazy, wanting to die even though I have a not so bad life. I have a roof over my head and food on my table but still I'm slowly driving myself insane and it's hard to take anymore.

Each time I take a look in the mirror I can't tell if that's really me looking back at myself  or just an illusion. I can't find an escape from the reality that is me, each time I try I just find myself deeper and deeper in my mind, asking myself questions only God can answer.

Voices I do not know seep into my mind. I don't know or understand where they come from or where they disappear to after I have heard them. When I'm lonely I don't mind the voices so much, I'm lonely a lot.

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