April 23, 2022 #167


Dear Diary, 

Umm these days I’m in struggle. Even though I determined to focus on “my life” which is fixing my mental and physical health state, the world outside of me is like what will you do for your real career?! No ma’am but but it’s really difficult to believe what I am doing when I am with that voice. 

I am doing a part time job 3 days a week at an institute of languages. While I am doing it, I can figure out my career path nice and slowly, I mean taking care of myself at the same time. I feel like, otherwise my life would be shut-downed again soon and there’s no way to get back to the start line again. 

Student part time staffs I work with expect me as a part time staff who has other things to do for usual days. Like trying to gain higher academic degrees or something.  But not sir! Well what I do is trying to rise myself onto the start point. 

I want to focusing what I am doing, really. Meh 

Life still goes on. Graduated without any hiring letter but with depression. Last February, I couldn’t even imagine what I would do  this April. But here I am ma’am, life still goes on. 

I gotcha back always someway somehow. Then here I am! Still becoming 23 years young. 

Hmm maybe?