April 03, 2022

 

Dear Diary, Do you ever like want to be something but don’t have the motivation? Like idk there will be many aspect causes of that, but I just feel like there is many people do their motivation like make them struggle like they should be compared with other people. Make that person feel bad, the worse person that ever lives. I was here just doing everything I loved but also I lost my motivation sometimes. Why can we just do everything we love without being a struggle. Not being compared with others?

But comparing sometimes is a good point because u learn from someone's mistake. And you should be better. That’s. that's. I hate that.


So I see some comments on youtube that maybe can give me some reference, it's so random but they are actually so talented in describing how they feel, so I just see some comments that she doesn't care about everything in their life. I know it's bad, but sometimes you feel that too, you lose some kind of motivation, you just lie in bed, or maybe just listen to music. It's hurt because idk I feel I don’t really care about the future, just like let people shine and you just sit there watching, and maybe that's worth it to me? I mean yeah live just 1, and yolo they said, but you just lose your spirit.


I met a boy, it's just an old friend... But we're like start talking cuz of organization lol, but yeah that’s a lovely short conversation HAHAH pls like I don’t want to fall in love but you can say that... But not really, I just love the idea of him. It's a cavetown song, I just love his personality, the reasons why I want to be a boy are because of him, the only boy that I want to be, but yeah I guess I'm not his type at all lol. So um idk. I just want to turn his character into my oc HHHAHAEHEH, no cause after a long time I really want to make a character, but idk I just can't because i can't// but this time I'm pretty sure will make a character. 


So I have written many scenarios of animation that I want to make, and idk what story I will make first so yeah. You may call it drama queen just call it you call it unmatured human called that I don’t careeeeeee!!! I do everything for myself. I will have a job that I wanted, ill appreciate myself, I will celebrate every small thing that happens in my life with myself, maybe I should watch many psychology animations so everything is well imagined. Well, everything needs research…. 

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