Dear Diary,
It's been long since I last checked in, and I have this habit of not checking in as soon as good and different things starts happening. I met this guy, gonna refer to him as 'pretty boy'. He makes me feel different, I have liked people before and fell in love as well but this is something new and different. He cooks for me like omg okayyyyy!!!!, surprises me, and moreover is open about the way he feels with me, but I am genuinely scared what if this hurts as well, what if I lose myself into this guy again and things go down the drains. I feel like sometimes its going fast but then again I love the pace. If only someone could just tell me what to do next and whom to choose, am I wasting my time or not?
he gives me some sort of security, like a backbone to fall on. someone I can trust but this time it's not about trusting others. It's about trusting myself, that I am not gonna suddenly rush out of it cause I just entered into this thing as I love, being loved. I am happy, ik that but at the same time the fear doesn't go away. When I look at things as see him as a guy, I would wanna date, but am I ready for it now? I hope I am somewhere cause I really don't want to hurt this guy. I don't want to get hurt as well cause I am getting emotionally attached somewhere and the fact of how sad I will when he leaves, scares me. I am scared how life will just pull me down that day but one thing that I have faith on is that I am gonna get up at any cost. I can't give up because of anyone. I am just hoping with each passing day for him to be the same he is and things to go in the right direction. Let me finally get my happy story. I have craved it all my life and maybe now is the time I actually get one beautiful story.