Dear God, do You know I want to do real mission on Earth?
Should I wait for Christ, isn't it? Without having any connections with ***? Please, give me wisdom in this. I don't get it...
Also I hvae very big quantity stuff from You what to do.
Writing books.
God, I haven't done no one...
God, I don't read EGW every single dya fir purpose. God, I don't read Sabbath School of other stuff. But. Actually. I do
But. I don't know what happened with X. Seriously? I don't know what is going qith this life. And I am so afraid...
I don't feel that You keeps it everything. I know I need. To. That J should.
But. Maybe my communication with You looks like absence of the answers?
I feel me so sinful.
I don't have hours with You.
I haven't done normally. Like. Haven't finished. This stuff for my head.
I m so tired to do every single week to this church and do all this stuff.
Everything is the same
At home. God, I am so exhausted from living with my family.
God. Maybe... Do You want I will live separate?
Cos. I don't feel it. For real.
I feel me so stressed. Like. I am doing something incorrect.
Living at my age with family.
I am so sorry...
God... I feel like I don't know what to do.
I don't feel that this person. Want to communicate with me.
And yesterday. After fasting. I has understood that... My situation. Is even worst.
I feel like:
1. You don't want for me any husband.
I know that it is written that my husband is Christ.
So. I have a question!
Why You don't give me money?
Why do I don't live i separate flat?
They talk to me as to the little child.
Yesterday... It was so strange. I have seen X the real? What happened?
I don't see that he loves you. I tell You as it is. I have very, very big doubts in this connection. I see thta he loves journeys, he loves money. Food. Maybe. Even. His friends. But J don't see that he loves You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
V was in connection with me. God, I am very. Very! So... So... Gid, I am sooooooooo jelous...
I know it's sad and that I should find joy in communication with You personally.
Last times. I feel me like I stopped to exist. Like... Everything has stopped in my live.
He is so afar from me
God, I am so exhausted from all these people. From their always ruined bodies. Literally? I hate them.
I know that I mist pray for. But I don't want.
You has said me to rest. How? I can't. Please, help me in this.
God. I am so tired from living...
Maybe. Can I just stop all this?
I am so tired. From being again abd again under very big pressure.
God. I feel me so bad.
Like I don't exist
I am tired and don't want to do nothing. Can I just stop this live and start tge other try? I feel me bad. Like. This is the biggest failure. My communication with X. I am so sad that he doesn't want to communicate witg me even more. I am so tired from myself. Tume controls me. Not me. It... God. I am tired from. All. That. Stuff.
He doesn't explain. Nothing.
Don't want to solve
I am tired from trying to solve.
I am tired from this humiliation. To being the person that starts the contact is first.
I have seen one again. This quote. I don't believe in dating. That's true
I am so humiliated. I was communicating with him
God. I wam so sad. And feeling me so guilty