Dear Diary,
After the breakup between me and "him," I decided to go back out there and make connections. Notice how I didn't say look for another lover or anything of that sort. That's because I'm tired of connecting with people just for the possibility of a relationship. I want to start off in the friendship stage and remain in there until something sparks to where we can't deny it. Does that make me a hopeless romantic?
Anyways, this week I've met with two guys, separately. I met Jamey first, and I'm not going to lie, being single gives you this sense of freedom to where you feel as though you can do anything...and anyone. Unfortunately, my experience with Jamey moved in the direction I knew it would — sex. While we didn't exactly have sex because of personal reasons between me and him, there was foreplay and one of us got off...not me. It wasn't his fault. Leaving his place, I began internally kicking myself for allowing it to go the way it did. I knew what I wanted yet I went in the opposite direction. But then I remembered...I'm single. I never had the chance to make those mistakes and here I was. Secretly, if I was going to make that mistake again, I would want my experience to at least be unforgettable and remarkable. Toe-curling!
Later on that day, I met with the second guy, Steven. Oh, how I love saying his name in my head and with my tongue. Before you starting thinking it, no, we didn't have sex. While Jamey is your typical college student when it comes to the dating scene (the one that wants to have sex with you but doesn't say it upfront. Instead, they create that sexual atmosphere themselves by inviting you over to their place), Steven is more mature. He took me on a trail walk and kept his distance but would occasionally touch my shoulder or accidentally bumped arms with me. To some, that doesn't seem like much. But while we were talking, looking into each other's eyes, and laughing, I couldn't help but feel as though there's something there with us. I don't want to rush it but I damn-sure am going to enjoy this feeling. Saying goodbye was awkward, but I'll make sure it isn't again on our second date on Tuesday.
Signing off,
Nighthowler