December 31, 2021 #142

Dear Diary, I am in a cafe. Drinking tea. It’s cold outside so I am thinking what time should I head to home…

I also had small strawberry parfait. No ice cream on it. So I liked it. Only half strawberries. But that’s okay. 2021 is ending. Ohh what should I do? Probably nothing special. But I gotta say that my mind changed. My mind doesn’t bully me that much anymore. It was one of my resolutions on my 2021’s vision board I made by using Pinterest. I forgave and accept myself better than before. But it all happened in this December. I wonder why. My mind is full of gratefulness. I done mean to say I don’t suffer from depressed mind but I can believe in somewhere in my heart that that will be stoped someday. If I found myself can’t do something, I can accept that. Former me couldn’t do something like that. Just kept asking me why I couldn’t do things and answered by themselves like ‘because you are so weak!!’ ‘Because you have tiny amount of willpower and can’t develop yourself” hmmm 

But current me is very different. I accept what I am not good at to do and think how I can overcome it in the future or show myself how I am a beautiful person in other point of view. And that makes me feel safe and encourage me. 

Don’t forget! I’m in public place! Aww I’m kinda crying🥺🥺 

One person that I knew made sprach/insta live that devils doesn’t want to make people happy so that’s why they speak to us with what makes us acctully happy. And that’s why they can effortlessly avoid us to be happy. And that’s the reason why we shouldn’t hear them and don’t have to here them even if they seems right. Hmm and that sounds somewhat collect. I secretly listen her sprach/insta live when I feel weak. 

I’m really greatful.

I love you!