Dear Diary,Colton finished discing for the year I got the yearlings tagged and worked. Then cooked dinner. Colton gave it a C- that is my best grade yet on dinner. The investigator that worked Callie’s and Colton’s accident came by to talk and update me. Apparently, Colton was videoing some cows running across a field when the accident happens, it doesn’t really show anything that will help total understands what happen but it did record everything said in the truck and all the background noises. He cautioned me listening to it. He said you can’t unhear it. He said Callie never raised her voice with Colton. And at some point, Colton must have been trapped. I haven’t listened to it, he also gave me a transcript of it. I could not finish reading it. I wanted to go in Colton’s room and just hold him. He doesn’t know I have any of it. I do understand so much better why he is doing certain things. Colton’s biggest issues seems to be he argued with her and I know he remembers that he has talked about it. He told me the last time I got to talk to mom, I argued and yelled at her. The transcript reads more like he was confused. I’m sure he was, he was just 12 yrs old at the time. He spend his 13th birthday in the hospital. He is so confused about what Callie told him to do he has no clue it was so he survived nothing else. I do understand so much more than I did and only read a page and a half of the 15 pages. When we get in the truck if I have my yeti in the cup holder, he moves it, I think that’s what his head hit and bruised the side of his face so bad. He tenses up when we go around a sharp corner. If a semi with a load of pipe passes us you can see the fear. We were wrestling around and I grabbed his left leg to pull him down he turned white and screamed. After talking to the investigator and the little I read. I get him not wanting to wear his boot. He is so convinced that the last thing his mom said, didn’t wear it anymore and he was arguing with her about it, he has so much guilt as it is and then you add arguing, he is so confused. It is funny (not Ha-ha funny) he has fixated on not wearing a boot, he does if I push, but his mood is so down but without it, he is the old Colton. He told me I was making him pick between doing what mom said and what I said. Colton says you can’t understand. I guess I rambled enough I need to man up and read the transcript and listen to the recording.