December 10, 2021 #117

 

Dear Diary, well I bought some used books today and started reading “The old man and the sea” and “Die Verwandlung.” Both seems interesting and easy to finish. I’m happy with that. Especially I cant stop reading when I read “Die Verwandlung.“ Exciting and interesting. Like kaidan but not scary in that way. 


I have been in my bed since 30min ago. Before that I said good night to my mom. Kinda awkward or scared. But she good-nighted back to me more natural than I expected. Did I “train” her like this without knowing or not?  I wish i did not. 


I want to train my mind to create more positive thoughts. Person who is positive should think everything in a positive way like negative person tends to think everything in negative way, no mater how it’s correct or wrong. When thought in my mind is wrong, in positive way is better. Don’t you think so? It is not supposed a bad thing. Why do you feel like it’s more beautiful way of living when you blame yourself having positive way of thinking, while you might actually had made a mistake without knowing?
If you put on sad face, it can be another mistake. Smile face is way better. You know what I mean? You can always reflect things in positive way. 
If you are still uncomfortable, think about it. It’s both same kind of mistake when you are too optimistic or pessimistic. Remember, It’s same amount of sin. You like to bully yourself, so you can keep bully yourself by knowing this. 

Optimistic mind can be another step to walk forward. But pessimistic mind keep you inside of a shell. Which way will you chose? Some people say, negative thinking helps to avoid danger. Look at dodos. You can’t! because they are all dead now. They had no sense of danger towards everything. But so what? You don’t need to care about species duration. Or maybe your life will be shorter if you keep living with your negative way of thinking. So why don’t you chose to be happy instead of being in the jail of negative thought and feeling sad? You’ll change your mind. Yes you will. You can.


Ohhh here is my life coach lol

Actually it’s kinda great! Tomorrow me get embarrassed probably tho 😅 I dont know she might cry. 


Bye nyan😽

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