Dear Diary,
Through out my teenage years I've considered running away.
When I was 15 I even wrote out a whole plan, notes, things to check off, etc...
I was so close to doing it.
Now that I am 18 It really wouldn't be considered running away anymore.
I'm legally emancipated and have the legal freedom to disappear whenever I want.
I've really been considering it recently. I'm so sick of my family.
They're a burden that I shouldn't have to bear. I don't even live with them except on weekends but I do partially rely on my mother for a bit of finanical support. She pays for my car insurance, and any other high costing bill and thats the only reason I still stay with her.
There are many benefits to leaving, but also some draw backs.
Benefits:
1. Relieved of the stress.
2. Relieved of the responsibilities.
3. I don't answer to her anymore, she can't hold the fact that she still is supporting me over my head.
4. Just being able to be myself, have the privacy I want, no parental rules, no judgement, fighting or being forced to see my father.
5. I think it'd force me to grow in my indepence a little more.
Its not at all abnormal for me to still be relying on my mother for car insurace, general bills like hygiene, partially food, gas, etc...
Its a law that she has to support me for a reason. However I'd like to support myself completely so she can't control me anymore and putting myself in a situation where I have no choice seems a good way to go about it because I often need a good motivator or else I don't care to try.
Draw backs:
There aren't many other than general self supporting responsibilities which I can't really include because I'm literally asking for it if I run away.
If I do this- I need to make sure I can afford my own living costs.
Right now I cannot. I doordash for extra money as my main thing right now and its hard if not impossible to live off of it in my local area.
Expenses:
1. Food
2. Hygiene
3. Cleaning Clothes
4. Gas
5. Car Insurance
6. Water bill, eletric, and rent if I get an apartment over living in my car.
The biggest downside to all of this is that it would take away Lois's option of having a 99.99% economically stable home to live in. Living with me if I was to get an apartment is more 90-95% probably. However if both me and Lois are working than it will easily be 100% stable.
Honestly I know the easist and safest option is to just wait for Lois to come live, it'd be better for her. It's selfish of me to put anymore responsibilities on her than she will already have which is what I'd be doing if I did this.
Ahhhhh
Its not a bad situation right now as it is, its just so consistent and a constant pain.