November 15, 2021

 

Dear Diary, 

Hey. I'm back. :) 


Its been pretty great over here. My favorite celebrity noticed me a couple times, so did others as well. But today hasn't been that great if I'm gonna be honest with you. That's why there is no excitement when I say Nathan noticed me. 


I think I'm starting to feel depressed again. *sigh

Just yesterday, in my daily mood app, I put it as a "rad" day, but then today it changed to "bad".


My mom's the problem.

I was supposed to go to church today, and I was planning to. But I forgot to set my alarm, so I didn't get up in time. My mom did try to wake me up, but she just knocked on my door over, and over, and over again, annoying me. And when I get annoyed in the mornings, I NEVER cooperate. Ever. I'm unable to. So I stayed in bed.


I was planning on getting ready to go, but then she just left without me. So, I guess she's saying I'm not allowed to go? 


To make things worse, she came home and started yelling at me for not going. Multiple time throughout the day. She says she never yells and always keeps a calm voice even when she's angry, but today she actually did yell. A lot.


The last time she lectured me, she kept me in her room, blocking the door so I couldn't get out, and then spent the next 30 minutes just saying that I am being a horrible daughter and its all my fault that she can't be a good parent. She jumped to SO MANY conclusions, like, I'm going to leave the church, or I'm not going to be successful when I grow up. And said things like, YouTube will make me dumb and I'll never have friends, and Texas isn't a magical place that will solve all my problems. (I don't think that. I just really want to live in Texas.)


I really don't know why she got SO MAD today. Whenever I pointed out something she was doing wrong, she started yelling at me and instead said everything she thinks I'M doing wrong.


She's now threatening me that she'll put me in school. I'm homeschooled by the way, and I CANNOT go to school. I've been before, and I hated it. If I go, I won't be able to pursue my dream/goal to be a YouTuber. If I don't start now, I won't be making money to support myself in the future. That's why I can't go to school. 


*sigh. Life is tough. Can I just skip to the good part already???


I guess some good things have happened. I posted my first video on my channel and I'm working on another one, I'm teaching myself Photoshop and I actually am pretty good at it! And I finally hit 100 subscribers!!! (With zero videos if you don't count the fan edit I posted a couple days ago) So that's pretty cool. Now I'm going for 1,000. After 1,000 sub's, I can start making money. :)


Anyway, if you have any tips on how to live life in my house, please give them to me. 

-Thunder⚡

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