Dear Diary, kept you waiting, huh?
Well to give closure to the hair thing. It turned out fine, even though the middle is still too long I think. I want to cut it, but I'm afraid that it will look worse. Its fine for now but I think I will have to go to the barber again sooner than I would like.
Uni has started, so its time to report on how my courses have been going based on how likely it is to find a girlfriend there. The most important criteria for a singleminded degenerate like me. The online lecture that I do the tutorial for has been a flop. My plan with the posters has been foiled. The professor wants everyone to turn off the cameras, because she is afraid that zoom will crash. So no nerdy girl can lust over my anime posters, what a disapointment. At least my room looks better now.
The tutorial itself is also a bust. I'm mainly talking my mouth fuzzy there. For an socially awkward guy I am managing pretty well, but I am certainly not very charismatic there. I mainly just repeat the stuff from the lecture and explain it in my own words.
The Kurosawa tutorial. I actually got into a strange situation there. There was a girl sitting there that looked very similar to the girl I was interested 3 years ago. You know the one that got married. Black dyed hair, black clothes, pale, glasses, petite. Everything matched. With the mask I couldnt tell for sure but I was almost certain that it was her. It would have been pretty awkward, because we havent spoken at all since then. And from her perspective she probably didnt entirely know what happened. But it wasnt her. Different name. What was funny she actually thought I was someone else too. We are studying the same subject and thought I was in the same beginner course for that subject. I already did that one though. Still I would like to talk to her more. Not because of the usual girlfriend stick but because she seemed cool. Maybe I wont have the chance though, because the girl running the tutorial said that she is considering making it a digital tutorial, because of the rising case numbers. That would suck. It would rob me of another chance to meet new people and I dont even know if I will manage to attend because I would have to log into zoom from campus. Maybe I will try to zoom from the same room the tutorial is in normally lol. I never tried zoom on my tablet though, its not that good. And using my phone would be even worse. Ugh.
Then there is the climate poems. And that one is the most promising. There is a girl I had to do a project with who I sit next to. I actually have her number because of the project but I dont want to text her randomly, that would be weird. She seems nice though. Another interesting girl is one I actually remember from the test I helped supervise last semester. She was looking at me weirdly a number of times and when she was done she gave me her test and asked some questions. And now she is sitting in this course an she keeps staring at me again. At least I'm pretty sure that its her. With the masks its hard to tell people apart. I wish I could see her without the mask at least once. They make it really hard to get a crush.
It would be pretty awesome if the staring actually meant something. I did it all the time with my big crush in school too. Only she never noticed sadly. So yeah that girl is the main one I think about right now. I would like her to say more in class, because I can usually tell a persons character pretty well from that.
When I heard Belle talk in class back then, I immediately noticed her "crazy" side, if you want to call that. Speaking of her, I kind of missed our time together. Not everything was perfect, but I always had someone to spend time with at least. We had a good symbiosis I think. She had someone who would listen to her problems and I had a girl who actually wanted to spend time with me. Lately Ive been feeling very lonely. Even though I always wanted a girlfriend, I am not really the type who gets lonely so it strange. I just didnt have much interaction with people in a long time. Apart from my mom but that doesnt count. I always think back to the girl who was living in the neighbouring street when I was 5 or so. How I would just come over to her and we would watch cartoons, play with her dolls, read Pippi Longstocking and goof around her house. Then she moved away. In a way I always wanted something like that again. A girl in the vicinity I could just hang out with. Now we could watch anime or try to cook something together or whatever. That longing from back then was maybe the prototype for my obsession with finding a girlfriend. Why is it so hard? I just dont get it.
Take care everyone!