November 11, 2021

 

Dear Diary,


Kemper loved the cake. He ate two huge pieces of it. I made a 9x13 pan size and half of it is gone. 😳 


We made love tonight which doesn’t happen hardly at all anymore. Mainly, well actually, all because of me. He deserves someone better for him.


He told me thank you for baking the cake and cooking dinner. He said he really appreciated it! It kind of made me feel a little good when he said that. 


Ryan emailed me tonight. He wants my phone number. He wants to talk to me regularly. I deleted the email. I can’t deal with him right now or the consequences of conversing with him. 


I have been holding back tears since reading the email. I have such a lump in my throat from it, it is almost making me sick. 


I am falling apart. Everywhere! This is all so hard. Yet, none of it really is! I know that in my mind but I can’t get past any of this. 


I’m exhausted! I can’t do this much more. 

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