November 04, 2021 - Happy diwali

 

Dear Diary,

Its been really long, i haven't written, at multiple occasions i wanted to write to you but then forgot 😶😶. 


I don't remember everything now, but first thing first, i am liking travel by metro very much. 

I have time to read and write, no clutter of road. I may use metro for daily office commute also, and metro is slightly distant from office so i will also get to walk some. Adding 10-15 mins in travel time, but i think i'll like it. 


Its Diwali today. 💥💥


Diwali is special, there are onky few days i feel so worry less and life like.



December is coming, i dont have any plans yet, meera asked me about my resolution for next year, i haven't thought much about it yet, i think a list would come into mind the same day. 

But lately i am really feeling like, i have always known that life is short and unpredictable, i should be doing more things i want to do. 

Thinking about science and astrophysics, did little quora research, people said its difficult in thr sense that many times it will be mindnumbingly boring. I am not sure if i am ready for that kind of commitment. I decided to rrad few books first instead. I think for pursuing anything we should have a very strong will, tats what matter, everything looks exciting in the beginning. Even the marriage 😛😀. 


As i am growing old, my perspective for marriage is changing, earlier it was all about attraction and some sort of (sexy/harmonal) feelings, she is so cute or her voice is sooo 😍😍 or my heart skip a beat when she smiles. Now i feel, i wish i have all this, but this may not be the reason i can marry. I am feeling now, that it's more about people who understand each other. 

Mom and sweety went home. I didn't. I wanted to work and take leaves in December. 

First it felt very difficult, and somewhat scary too. Waking up early every day, feeding emma forrest, think about breakfast and what will i eat in lunch? I cannot eat outside every day. And doing dishes in evening. Ufff. And the clothes.

Also, for the first time i felt that living alone is not as glorious as i thought, it is not a very good feeling to come home and find no one and work alone in the house. Cooking for just urself is also sort of depressing after few days.



Thats it for now. 
Adios❤️❤️❤️


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