Goodbye Kiss

"I have to go now, sweetheart," I gently told the little girl with a smile, and turning to her mom, I asked, "Are you sure you don't want to come with me?"

The sickly woman simply shook her head and said that they didn't have money to buy plane tickets. But it wasn't just that. I knew the thought of even visiting didn't come up to her wishes and consideration. As soon as I had shown up at their doorstep, she never expressed any trace of warm welcome regarding my presence and silently prayed for my early departure. She needed not say the words, of course, for her actions were enough to deliver the message itself. I didn't resent her for it because if somebody just randomly showed up at my house, too, I'd also be so vexed for having my habitual peace interrupted. Most especially, she wasn't in her healthiest condition to be cordial with intruders. (Nay, she was a sour woman regardless.)

"You're coming back, right?" the girl asked very hopefully, looking at me with big blue eyes. I was squatting on the floor so we were face to face.

"I'm not sure.. Perhaps I'd be gone forever.." I told her candidly, not finding the necessity to lie.

"How many is forever?"

I was rather taken aback by the question which immediately brought an amused smile to my face at how so innocent it sounded. I thought my response would sadden her so but she asked that instead. How many is, indeed, forever? I couldn't answer her query so I just smothered a soundless laugh and leaned in to kiss her cheek with fond affection, my hand pressing onto the other side of her face. The thought of leaving and never coming back to see her again suddenly casted a shadow over my spirits, even when I was meaning to quit the house sooner a while ago because her overflowing and incessant enthusiasm to play was starting to drain my energy.

I delicately drew back and looked around for her little brother. It was this time the doorbell rang and the mother, who had been standing at the kitchen island, went ahead to see who it was.

The little boy was nearby and I knelt down to also kiss him goodbye. He was about two years old and had no idea who I was. I didn't spend so much time with him as much as I did with his sister today. When I looked up, I saw Timmy walking in, passing us by, his hands inside his trench coat pockets as he surveyed the interior. I didn't know what he was doing here but I watched him for a moment before his eyes landed on me. He looked somewhat troubled and dismayed; the wind outside surely did a thorough job in messing up his thick and wavy dark locks.

"Are you going?" I finally asked, still holding the youngest child.

He sighed and pulled out his phone from his coat pocket, taking a quick check before looking back at me. "I really want to but I'm still waiting for Ronan's reply."

I stood up to search for the other son. The woman had three kids and the eldest, just like the mother, was also sick; although the poor boy had it worse. He was around 9 or 10 years old and the poor creature was curled up on the round couch in the living room. I came up to him and sat on his side. His face was so red, and so were his arms. I didn't wanna rouse him up so I just kissed his arm instead, the heat of the fever immediately absorbed on my lips.

I glanced at my watch and really needed to get going now. I looked up and saw Timmy sauntering towards the staircase situated at an isolated corner in the floor and sat moping at the third bottom step, hands once again hidden inside his coat pockets. I guess he finally got Ronan's reply. And judging by the forlorn expression he wore, the decision made wasn't in both of our favour. I felt somewhat dejected because I really wanted them to be there. And I knew Timmy had been meaning to go but he couldn't unless Ronan was coming, too. I rose from the couch and took a couple of paces away from the parlour towards his direction.

"Hey," I said, sitting myself next to him. "It's okay."

He tiresomely shifted his head to flash me a weak and apologetic look. He didn't need to say sorry, I understood. He turned his face away from me to look ahead, and in so doing, the orbs of his eyes languidly rolled in a way that showed his agitation at the current circumstances. Affecting an air of impatience mixed with a genuine morsel of annoyance, he drawled, "Go ahead. Kiss me now."

I paused and then laughed at what he was getting at. So he noticed me going around kissing the kids farewell.. Well, that was exactly what I came here for and there was no way I'd leave him out of it now that he was also in the house. With his right cheek purposely angled for easy access, I leaned in to press my lips against its soft skin, my right hand caressing the other side of his face, like I did with the little girl. And just like then, another cloud of dismay fell over my heart when the realization reminded me that he wasn't coming along on my journey.. With eyes still closed, I felt the ardour of my embrace amplify with each passing second. And then a curious new kind of sentiment for him arose inside me that suddenly made me not want to let go.. I was certain his scent had something to do with it.. And a man's warmth against my skin..

I finally withdrew my lips before I could ponder more about it, casting him a rather goofy smile to hide the bittersweet it intended, which was only returned with an expression I couldn't quite fathom. He stared at me with those warm and dreamy green eyes of his, as if thoroughly searching my frontispiece; the muscles in his jaw which were previously laxed from the languor of melancholy, seemed to be now slightly clenched. Our faces were still a couple of inches apart and I still had my hand on his left cheek. I couldn't read his mind but right at that moment, it felt as though something had occurred between us. He blinked and I suddenly took special notice of the conspicuous bobble of his Adam's apple.

I then slapped his face away with the hand that was placed on the one side of his beautiful visage— playfully—to disrupt whatever bizarre atmosphere we had accumulated, and then in a cute and quirky tone, chirped, "Bye!"

As soon as I sprang up, I caught sight of myself in a feng shui bagua mirror hanging on the wall across the staircase, just a few paces in front of me, conveniently installed at the level of my head, and I had only taken two steps towards it when I saw the reflection of Timmy's tall figure towering over me from behind. I turned around and merely caught a glimpse of his face when he grabbed my head with both of his hands and bent down to press his mouth right against mine.

Then I knew. This. This was what I wanted when that new affection took place just a moment ago when we were sitting on the staircase. Though taken by surprise, I kissed him back with the same amount of burning passion he was expressing, my hands quickly climbing up to his locks of curls to bury my fingers in between them. We suddenly forgot we weren't alone in the house, nay, we didn't care at all for the pull of the tension was so strong and neither of us had a desire to break it off. It all happened so fast and I willingly let myself sink into it. My feet continually moved backwards as he advanced onto me, not once removing his lips from mine, until my back hit the wall and within this instance, he lifted me up through my waist with such ease, and my legs immediately obliged to wrap themselves around his body. His hands transferred to the bottom of my thighs to keep me in place as his lips found mine again, hungry for his ardent embrace. In my head, I couldn't believe this was happening. I was kissing this painfully beautiful and fine gentleman. The thought alone so exalted my fervour that I took the utmost pleasure upon tasting the sweetness of his lips. The wave of our bodies grinding against each other, the opposing movements of our heads at the constant collision of our mouths, and the motion of my hands upon his hair—stayed in the same rapid flood of intense passion displayed from the very moment his lips clashed onto mine, not once slowing down to calm our fervent desires. Though rough and hasty, we flowed in the same rhythm of fevered touches, our tongues deliciously taking turns darting in and out of each other's mouth, sometimes meeting each other along the way, firing up my excitement into a heated state of ecstasy. I paid no heed when my outside senses detected attention from the other people in the house, and Timmy didn't seem to mind it, either, for we continued devouring each other in the most lustful and voluptuous manner. I was kissing Timothée Chalamet. I still couldn't believe it. We were at it for a few more minutes when we were interrupted by his personal assistant, who came standing behind him. The guy said something that was of important urgency that Timmy pulled his face from mine, just a short distance away, but he didn't turn around, his eyes remained fixed on my own, as if searching my face again. The abrupt disruption that ended the chaos of our amorous conjunction pronounced the heavy ascending and descending of our chests; the sudden calm made sounds louder and clearer to my ears. The intense and ragged breathing coming out of his parted lips felt warm against my face, arousing the temptation to reach for his salacious mouth again with the avidity of my own. But that was it. We just stared at each other with still the same newfound sentiments and aphrodisia, but nothing more. Confound his assistant. Everything was over.

And then I woke up.