November 03, 2021

2
Comments

Dear Diary,


When certain things trigger me, my head begins to fill with negative thoughts. Everytime it seems like I've gotten over that one bad habit, I fall right back into it.

I think my life is similar to climbing a mountain. Every time I'm almost at the top, I'll fall right back down. Every single time. I've never gotten to the top of that mountain, I don't even know what's at the top of it or what is hidden behind it... 

Behind that mountain could be a beautiful forest with streams and trees that are fruitful... but it could also be a mountain range that never seems to end. And sometimes, I just wanna quit climbing or head back towards the direction I came... but all I see is a drought, and that peircing hot sun.

Sometimes I wonder, should I keep climbing and eventually taste those delicious fruits and drink that refreshing water, even though it takes me years climbing hundreds of mountains...or should I just stay in that drought with nothing and eventually become nothing...


If only there was another way you can get pass that one mountain that seems impossible...

And who knows, it might be the easiest mountain in that mountain range.

N
nikky✓
Nov 4, 2021 · 28 views

Comments (2)

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N
nikkyDec 8, 2021

You're right, the persons who we care about will be hurt. And I think that's a major part of me still being here. But I hope we can both survive/live through this.

N
Nizhoni binxNov 5, 2021

I feel this way as well, last week and this week I didn't attend class. I haven't turned any of my assignments in. I feel detached from reality lately, I usually get out of this state of mind but lately, I haven't been able to. I would have a really great day, then something negative happens, and it's all I can think about. This week Tuesday, I just wanted to end it all and just sleep, but I knew at the end of the day I will be at peace but I will be hurting everyone I care about.

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— Ayn Rand