October 31, 2021

 

Dear Diary,

This is my first entry. I'm starting this diary because I'm sad all the time. I've heard that keeping a diary helps with the anxiety, and talking with others, specifically strangers, helps with the depression. I can't do face to face therapy, therapists just seem so judgy or like they really aren't listening. But I do know I need some help with all my bottled up thoughts. 

Why am I sad all the time? A million and 1 reason. Probably reason number 1 and 2 is because I feel SO alone all the time and that I'm not truly loved. 

I need a friend, but something is wrong with me. I don't know what it is, but I'm pretty sure I was just built broken by God... 

I want what other People have. Not in the sense of materialistic things, but in the sense of happiness. Different things make Different people happy. But what makes me happy? 

I just don't know how much more pain I can take. The sadness and loneliness is eating me away.... And I'm letting it. But I don't know how to make it stop.

People weren't meant to be alone... Except me. 

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