Dear Diary,
This week has been good, I did not achieve a lot of things, but i am feeling good. (And too good right now, that i am scared, i may have too bad days coming 😅). Music is one thing. That really makes me sooo happy sometimes. We went to this open mic, i wasn't really very interested before going, but from the moment i reached there and heard the girl singing that song till now, i am feeling very high 😅.
At Sacred earth, me, chaithanya and viveka. Everyone were very good, vishnu was there (It's been sooo long, years since i met him). After performances, everyone were going and talking to people, and saying you were really good and making conversations, most people were feeling like old friends by the time the event ended. I did not make much conversations today, i wanted to talk to that girl who sang first, then i didn't, i didn't want to take any pressure and today was just about enjoying the music, socialism some other day maybe. I am already being very social these days. 😅
It was good, of course in back of my mind, i always miss her, but then i am also feeling now, to feel light and untie myself from the weight i am dragging with me all the time. It's ok, i love her, and it's there, but missing her all the time is not the right thing. In this world things happen when they happen.
These days,i am again thinking about the vastness of the sky and the universe and our insignificance in it. My pains, are veryyy tiny and i should not be holding on to it.
Aashik's bday was this week, me, ashik and ruchi went for rappeling, it was ohk, but good that i did it once in life. But i realized one thing, I think i am scared of heights, and i am not very good at mountains and climbing, i tend to slip too often and i think i am really scared, when i am up there (more than ruchi i think). Now i have realized, it happened to me in ladakh, hampta as well. I think i can cross off mount Everest from my bucket list, I am never going to do that in this life. Its another level of satisfaction to cross off items we are never going to be able to do in this life. 😅
I stumbled upon a guy's medium page today, some Chowdhary, born and brought up in London, he writes about general things and works in a startup there, I really liked his style, how he writes genuine things about different topics, some based on research like - why real vanilla is so expensive. I think if focussed on writing, I'll be able to write some decent stuff, I read my earlier posts on medium, they were descent. I took a resolution for 12 articles, I could only write 3. :(. I revisited my bday list, half of it, I could not do.
After a long time, i cooked something today, made banana cake and hummus, both turned out really gooood. I dinn't have any pressure, followed a recipe and tada.
I am talking with Komal these days, I feel I need to develop more respect for her, otherwise, it won't work. She is sweet, sometimes few things annoys me, but I guess everyone is going to have imperfections. I am not perfect either.
One last thing. I feel how crazy this world is, in the bright light, we see people dancing to loud drums and throwing off money for feeling that adrenaline rush for few moments, the dark side of this world is the people who are hitting those drums, barely has cloths on, cloths which are probably never washed and a face soo tired yet ready to do anything to make little money. When i look at people with less money, i feel something, Those faces remain in back of my head for a long time. I feel, god has some plans for everyone, and its very much possible that someday, i may have to live that life, where the only dream would be to survive. Life is very unpredictable, in a week everything changed for shyam's family. I could have had an accident today while on bike, everything would have changed.
I think in true means, life is about living the moment, too often we keep thinking about the future and our plans etc, but we really don't understand anything, life is really just about now, just this moment.
Goodnight ❤️❤️❤️