August 19th, 2021

Today is my 47^th birthday. It should be a time of celebration but for me it has been a day filled with mixed emotions. My life was turned upside down just less than two months ago when I was diagnosed with stage 3 cervical cancer. I struggle to express the confusion and inner turmoil I am going through as I process the very real possibility that cancer may take my last breath. August 19^th, 2021 will now forever be etched in my mind as the day I stared death in the face for the first time. Nothing sounds the same, tastes the same or even looks the same anymore. I see, hear, taste, touch, and smell everything differently now. I watch people busying themselves with things less important in the grand scheme of life and I wonder will we ever truly figure out the meaning of this life. I contemplate where to go from here and how to fight for my life. I struggle to find the courage to fight another fight. Life has not been too kind to me, and I am just wondering how much more can this fragile heart take before I exit stage 3 to either live to tell of the victory or falling prey to the cancer threatening to steal my last breath.