Dear Diary, Today was okay day. or kinda good day :) I should think it was a good day.
I find a relaxing podcast to listen and it has nice and long length. The contents is awesome. It is about yoga and Ayurveda. More over, it is somehow a bilingual podcast which has my language and my second language. I already love this. I appreciate it.
Talking about the work today, I made some illustrations for a patent. And the whole lest of the time, i did only stapling documents. It took 5 hours or so, I guess. So that’s why my eyes aren’t tired that much.
I don’t know if i do enough communication at my work place. I often feel like I should not disturb others by me, including just saying hello. I know in somewhere in my mind that this is wrong. because that feeling is came from the voice saying “I’m not that worthy” which is actually wrong. I should say hello enough. I don’t have to go each one of the workers there to say hello but I can say hello only once in louder voice. that’s easy.
In the train I took to my home, there were a drunk man drinking canned drink without mask. He was talking ‘alone’ because everyone ignored him. I guess he was speaking some rude things to other passengers including me. I was scared little bit. But I wasn’t really care because i was listening to the podcast i mentioned in this entry and I knew he was just a drunk man. I knew that he wasn’t deserve others’ ears.
But i also imagine that I would care and be stressed if I wasn’t using my headphones.
And this experience was, I thought, exactly what will happen when I practice ‘Listen to only what is important to me and do not be disturbed by other kind of voice’
My classmates from elementary school to university think and actually said I’m unique because I don’t really care what others think and go-my-own-way type of person. But it’s not true. I can do small things like having different idea in the class. But For the more bigger things, I can’t even have my own idea. For example career path. I should avoid my negative inner voices disturb me.
Bye I might write again today.