I think my mind is unstable these days, I am not able to concentrate on anything what should I do ?? There is always something going on in my mind, I want to shout now, alot. Sometimes I am so happy and sometimes I am very sad.. is this all happening because I am thinking too much but what am I thinking actually. I really need to socialize, meet new people and talk to them and make friends. Sometimes I am happy that I don't have any friends but sometimes I feel very hollow that y don't I have any friends (I am the who is responsible for all this things and my strict parents) I too want to go out meet friends, Attend parties, make group calls, chat in a cool lingo, give galis to each other, binge watch movies and series together, go on late night bike ridesand now I am about to cry now😂. Why all this is happening with me today why am I suddenly thinking about all this things, think it's because of the imbalance of hormones, fuck that stupid serotonin.
Sala schl ka life Sach me jaand tha, ab yeh Jr college ka bhi bekar hai. Kudos to me 1st year mein koi friends nahi banayi, ab yeh 2nd year bhi distance learning program hogaya pichle week se. Waah moni👏👏. And I am sick of acting normal in my home. Maan karta hai ki joot bol ke thodi Der ghar se bahar niklu akele, par ghar waley uss frnd ka number puchte hai, aur konse frnd ka number du jab koi bhi nahi hai. When I was in schl(till 10th) saley mere classmates harami the, is it my fault that I used to study well. People only spoke to me when they had doubts, they didn't remember me when they went out or did something fun.
I want a boyfriend too who should understand me, who should like me for what I am, he should have great sense of humour, and he should try to know me. agar mil gayi tobhi I guess I will fail in that relationship because I don't how the world is outside, how to be the normal people who socialize, who have friends, as I don't have any friends I will give my whole to him and I will expect the same from him but he can't do that so I will end up crying again.
Bas hogaya har cheez ko dramas aur movies dekh ke brain mein imagine karke satisfy hona, I want to experience all those emotions for real, I want to laugh naturally, love from pure heart others and myself.
Dear God I am thankful for keeping me alive but I want to feel that I am alive, please do something and make me feel that I am alive. Please..... give something exciting to my lyf which will make me want to live...🙏🙏
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