August 12, 2021


I've been having an absolutely awful period. It started very lightly on August 4th but it's been completely downhill ever since. Tons of cramping and passing a lot of blood clots. It's so physically draining. I feel so much better when I'm cuddling with Da, but I feel bad again when he leaves. 

It was so bad last night that my dad looked at me and said I should take some medicine and go to bed even though it was only 7pm. I did and I slept like a baby until 5:47am. 

I took my nightly medicine that I missed while sleeping and changed my tampon and now I'm back in bed at 6:20am, cramping again. 

Usually my periods are super light, lasts 3-5 days (with birth control) and I don't even have to wear a tampon. This time it's almost like I'm not even on birth control. Without it, I'm bleeding heavily for 7+ days with awful cramps. Today makes day 8. 

I went with Da to the dentist yesterday. I had no idea he had so much anxiety about getting work done. He was pretty calm when he went two weeks ago, but this time I saw him breathing heavily and tensing up a lot. He said it helped a lot that I was there rubbing his leg and holding his hand. I was very happy to hear that I made it easier for him. 

He got some cleaning done and two cavities filled. The dentist said that his gums are infected and prescribed him some medicated mouth wash. 

He's supposed to go back in 2 two weeks to finish the cleaning and get three more cavities and hopefully his gums will be healed by then. 

Da said his gums and teeth didn't hurt after the dentist, but it was fun watching him deal with the side effects of numbing. He kept feeling his lips and I kept telling him, "Da, your lips are still there, I promise. She didn't steal your lips." It made him laugh. 💖 

I also got him giggling a little bit at the dentist when we were waiting for the numbing to work. I referenced jokes that we've shared in the past, including our most recent joke about Pizza Hut. 

Although Da has been driving to my town for almost a year now, he didn't realize that we had a Pizza Hut until about a week ago. "Y'all have a Pizza Hut??" I laughed so hard. Then, when we went to the grocery store, we made jokes about, "is this Pizza Hut?" 

I just love when Da has the giggles. 

After the dentist gave Da some numbing jelly and local anesthetic, he was making some silly faces while looking in pain because of how the jelly tasted. I told him that I feel bad for wanting to laugh but his faces were hilarious. That's what started his giggles and then I brought up the pizza hut thing. 

I love him so much that I do not mind spending over an hour with him at the dentist. My back and right arm (from where I was holding his hand) started to hurt after a while, but I was diligent. My boo needed me and god knows I'll always be there for him when he needs me.

When we got back to my house afterward, J was being the absolute sweetest baby ever. He gave Da lovins before he gave me any! He said he loves Da and while I was washing my hands so I could eat my Subway, J told Da, "lemme see your teeth," which was hilarious, but then he said, "mhm you did a good job, Da." 

But that was just the beginning of him being so cute.

I started to eat my Subway cookies and J went and got a pack of Chips Ahoy cookies from the pantry, opened the lid, tapped Da on the shoulder and said, "Da, which one do you want," éwhile gesturing at the cookies. It was so cute! He offered Da a cookie before even getting one for himself. Da declined, though, since he didn't particularly feel like eating. 

A few minutes later, I finished my drink and pretended to complain, "J, I ran out of Sprite." He ran into my grandma's room, I assumed to get himself something to drink, but he came back with a can of cherry Coke and gave it to me, "here you go." 

I said, "aww, thanks, baby, but I don't want anymore drink. That's so sweet of you, though, and I appreciate it."

We all were so happy to see J trying to share and be so cute. I love him to pieces. 

My dad told J, "no, xhopefulprincess doesn't like to drink a lot of drink, she likes water." 

So then he put the cherry Coke in the fridge and got my bottle of water out of the fridge. I was smiling so big. "No, thank you, baby, I don't want any water right now." Then he offered my bottle of water to my mom and I was like omg no don't try to give her my water, she has her own. 

It makes me so happy to see him being cute and sweet and it makes me even happier when I have Da with me to see it.