August 05, 2021


I miss Da so bad. It gets harder every time he leaves. 

Yesterday he told me that if my grandma didn't have a problem with him staying the night, he would often come over to sleep with me. I wish we could do that. 

It's so hard to not see him for a week when I love him so much. 

We didn't get to spend a whole lot of time together yesterday. First of all, because everyone else in my house was gone, I was asleep, and I like to keep my phone on silent, Da spent an hour waiting for someone to let him in. He sat on the front porch swing for an hour. I feel bad about it and I did apologize.

He said it wasn't so bad, though, because it gave him time to think about stuff. He said he started thinking about Christmas gifts for friends and family and an anniversary present for me since our 1 year is coming up. He says he hopes I'll like it, but I can't imagine I won't like something he gets for me. 

I've thought some about what I want to get for him, too. I did see a hand painted Nightmare Before Christmas wine glass on Etsy, but I don't know about that. He does love that movie. 

I also thought about getting him something that shows the hum he made while we had sex one time. Like the audio waves in a visual form. We are always making that hum at each other. 

I just want to hold him and be in his arms forever. 

It's amazing to me that I was previously engaged to another man and yet I never felt anything towards him like I feel towards Da. I'm so glad that relationship didn't work out. 


Even though the time Da and I spent together yesterday was short, I was still very happy. 

A lot of things just didn't go right yesterday, but being with him made it better. He wasn't mad at all about being outside for about an hour. We spent a little too much time grocery shopping for me, taking away from cuddle time. J insisted on me giving him a bath, taking away more time. Da ordered us some food and they forgot the bacon on his burger and they put mayonnaise on a quarter of mine. Yuck. Then we got to cuddle and nap, but that was cut short since J needed to go to bed. 

It's so hard to let him walk out the door when he says, "I miss you already." 


My grandma went to the doctor yesterday and my mom went with her. Since my mom and I told the doctor about my grandma's dementia-like symptoms, doc gave her a little memory test. *I don't know everything the doc said about her since my mom was trying to secretly tell me and then my grandma walked in and she had to stop. I asked her to continue later but then she forgot what she was saying.

The memory test was having my grandma remember the words: apple, penny, and table.

The doctor asked her about it a few minutes later and my grandma only remembered 2 of the words.

A little while later, she only remembered 1 of the words. 

She definitely has some memory problems. 

My mom said that my grandma told the doc about how she thought my dad and I were stealing and/or moving things in her room. The doc vouched for us and said that she (doc) knew our family well and that we wouldn't do that. Doc was able to get her to consider that she was misplacing things or moving them and forgetting where she put them. 

I hope my grandma wasn't just being complacent and was actually listening to the doctor. I hope she doesn't think that we are "in" with the doctor and we're conspiring against her. With her paranoia, I wouldn't be surprised if she came to that conclusion. 

We just don't want to live in a hostile environment and don't want her to hurt herself or others. 

The other day after my grandma accused us of stealing her Tylenol (which we would have no reason to do that, we literally have the same exact brand and everything), my mom admitted a secret to my dad. A month or so ago, my mom and grandma were going to Lowe's and my grandma ran a red light and they almost got t-boned. A cop pulled them over and just gave her a warning and told her to be more careful. 

But shit. That's dangerous as hell. She doesn't need to be driving anymore. Especially if she has J in the vehicle with her! He's distracting enough as it is. 

I'm sure I mentioned this in another entry, but there's been at least one time where my mom said that my grandma forgot where they were going and another time where she forgot how to get somewhere.

Anyway, I don't know the full story of what happened at her appointment yesterday or if there are going to be any changes to her medicine or *something.* Maybe the doctor will just keep monitoring her memory and stuff and if it gets worse... Idk what happens. 


In other news, I've been playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. It has a really slow start but I think it's going to be better than New Leaf. So far my villagers are Phoebe, Biff, Victoria, Filbert, and Mitzi. I met Biff in New Leaf and I don't particularly like or hate him. I'm also uninterested in Victoria. The other three are cute and can stay, for sure. I'm really just trying to progress quickly so that I can use my amiibo card and get my babe Chrissy as a villager again. I miss her. She and Mitzi will be my babes.

I've had a good bit of help with progression, too. I met someone on an animal crossing subreddit who donated lots of things to me including SEVERAL outfits and 2 million bells. She also gave me fruits and tools. She is an angel. Her name is Georgie. She's 41, has two teenaged daughters, and lives in the UK. I like to call her Mama Georgie. 

I don't know if she and I will genuinely be friends or if she will only talk to me for as long as we both play ACNH. Time will tell.