Dear Diary, today I remembered how alone in life I am. Or how alone I think everyone really is. I personally have no friends. I have a boyfriend and a mom. Those are the only two people I'd consider myself close to. But then again I don't think I could ever truly be open with them. How many people can say that they have someone they are 100% completely open and honest with? If you think about it I'm sure we all have something we're hiding. Something we're ashamed of or too embarrassed to talk about. There's really no one else in this world who knows and cares about everything about you. You only have yourself. I know its obvious, but if I think about it too much it makes me feel sad and empty. I've never been close to my mother so I already don't share a lot of my feelings with her. Sometimes I tell my boyfriend how I feel while thinking to myself "yeah he says he cares, but I can never truly know if he does". I thought about therapy but the idea that I'll be paying someone to pretend to care about me makes me feel horrible. I get so scared thinking about how alone I am. I'm the only one looking out for myself. I'm the only one I can trust. I'm the only one who will always be on my side. I'm not even on my own side a lot of the time though. So I'm more alone than I thought.