August 02, 2021 nothing amuses me

 

Dear Diary,

Whatever I try to do I feel empty and nervous. Nothing makes me feel satisfying.

I don't want to watch a movie, read a book, study Esperanto or play an instrument. I'm indifferent to work too and I don't like to go out because of the pandemic.


Today in a desperate try to make my day a little bit special I try to do recycled paper. The results was not so bed as I thought, but I'm not relaxed at all, I don't care about what I have done and I also feel bored and nervous.


I'm trying to clean my room but the only thing I can do it's just sit on the bed and watch the mess.


I also bought a tiket for a zip line next month. I will be sent at 170 km/h hanging from a cable from the edge of a mountain to another.

I did this when I was younger and I remember it as one of my most beautiful experiences. I should be excited, I'm not. I don't feel any expectation. I hope that the adrenaline will come when I'll be there.

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