August 02, 2021

Dear Diary,

I want to kill myself , to kill something inside of me . But of course I know it's not gonna be easy . I'm a muslim and in my religion , it's haram and a big sin to kill yourself . So if I kill myself , then I'll go to hell . I'm scared , I don't want to go to hell .  

As muslims we bury the corpses . So my father have to buy a casket and pay someone to dig the soil . I think it will be very expensive and I don't want to be bothersome to my father.