RainbowChristi's Dear Diary

Trying to find motivation with depression is harder than pulling teeth.

Coming out of another cageI'm too tired to feel rageBroken, Beaten, Alive and WellAll in all I feel Heaven and I taste Hell

If depression was a meal it would be raw liver, brussel sprouts, and cow shit.

I exercised and worked on Tegan's room.  I'm still quite depressed and fatigued.  😥😭

Anything would help.  Please share. https://www.gofundme.com/1p0rlu3yo0

Does it matter if others believe in me when I currently do not believe in myself? (The stress is really showing on my face.  I'll never ever outgrow this shit.)

Its hard to do anything when you are a million miles behind on everything

I'm so far behind ..... On EVERYTHING

Having a slice of motivation in a pie of unmotivation is challenging.

Yesterday my mind was super mush.  I remember the doctor saying to let him know and we'll stop before any cost.  I didn't go to ECT this morning and it was my last one ..... For now anyway.  I don't know if I made the correct choice.  I followed my g

I've been extremely tired, depressed, emotional, and lazy today.  I guess I'm gonna head to a depression support group and hope tomorrow is better.  Tomorrow morning is my last ECT.

Today's ECT was #10.  It left me feeling more rough than usual.  It also triggered some rough memories.  I feel less depressed though yet unmotivated.  Hopefully, I can kick my ass into gear as I have a lot to do.   Wednesday is my last one.  Here's

"A disease of the mind it can control you.  I feel like a monster." "What's wrong with me?  Why do I feel like this?  I'm going crazy now" "Its a thief in the night to come and grab you.  Ir can creep up inside and consume you" -Rhianna

Dear Diary,👸

Hoping to be asked questions