July 25, 2021

Dear Diary,

Did it make sense if I feel happy and sad at the same time?

To be honest, I knew how I look is not the best. 

And yeah, 

I may not know how to do my make-up or have the nicest figure but can I still count myself worthy?

I smile at the smallest thing and cry a lot too.

Ppl often say that I look tough or I look confident.

But let face the truth, I seriously shed tears at everything.

Starting from watching videos of humanity or soldier coming back home is enough to make me tear up.

Sometimes I feel really lame and pathetic.

I may not cry Infront of you. 

But I'm not strong too. 

It's easier to put your smiley face than being gloomy in Infront of others.

All the time that I feel insecure because of the words ppl take as a joke or simply saying that they're giving me useful advice have torn my heart so much.

I'm sorry for not being enough to your liking. But your words hurt.

I don't care if you're my family, friends or even strangers. Just be careful with what you're saying.

A word from you can haunt ppl forever.

To me today, thank you for trying your best. 

Love you.