I haven’t been able to throw up good for 2 days now (3 times) and it’s so frustrating. All that comes up is mostly water. I’m not even drinking that much intentionally and still just mainly water. Yesterday I ate half a tomato then a bunch of junk: bagel, ravioli, cookies, pop tarts. And then I threw up. What did I throw up? The tomatoes came right up. That was acidic and hurt and all that other food I ate just wouldn’t come up. So I took 100mcg of synthroid I purchased over the internet to speed up my metabolism. It’s safer than ipecac. And I took a bunch of laxatives. Then this morning I ate cookies and cinnamon buns and still just water came up. I barely drank any water, just a few sips. I’m going to have to take a break from throwing up so my stomach acids reset. Because I can’t stand this food inside me.
So I really needed to rant about work though and that’s the main purpose I logged on here to make an entry. I’ve seen so many more cancer cases recently. I’m terrified of getting cancer. The latest cancer patient at the hospital was just told she had mets to the brain. The prognosis is very poor for her. The tumors in her brain have made her ataxic and forgetful and have “odd” behavior, and she is fully aware of it and feels ashamed of herself and feels “so stupid”. We put her on a camera because she almost fell. The camera can alert us if she tried to get out of bed without calling and the person watching can talk to her such as ask what she needs, to remind her not to get up, and also they can call me to tell me the patient is restless or needs something. She was very upset about the camera saying she is “not an animal”. I just talked to her and gave her a couple hugs. What difficult news for her. After going through breast cancer twice, now this. I’ve seen more cancer than I see covid in the last year.