July 08, 2021

Hey baby!!💜

  To everyone who is reading this,

   How are you? Is everything good if not, hope it becomes soon.

So regarding that oldie, I've not seen him again but I've kinda had frequent mild attacks today too. But I know it's not something I should bound myself to.

I've been having my tests at school this week and it's hard. To make it worse, I don't how but my schedule is completely packed. But how?

How could I not get any time free? Well, I think I got some time but I don't think it felt like "freee" time. I was freaking out all the time about what I should do next, how I should do it, on and on. I just wish I could relax more. 

Like get a bit of a time when I could be like brain dead🤔 maybe, so my brain stops thinking and I'm free of all my ridiculous thoughts.

Cause even if I do something worthy, the first thing that comes to my mind is like I could have done something more worthy at that time. 

For example; I've always wanted to have some acrylic paint so that I can paint and somehow I ordered one. It was delivered yesterday and as soon as I got it I just tried it on a cup holder and this morning I remodified it. It was good. But what I thought was I could have slept in that time. I've been missing my sleep for days, I could have slept I shouldn't have wasted my time on some painting.

These thoughts fighting each other in my head!

It's tiresome!

However, I kinda have a piece of good news too.

I've got my first salary from the part-time I've been doing for the past 3 weeks.

I'm proud of myself. But my mom wants me to concentrate on my studies.

Hmmmmmmh......

As I said I was busy today, however, I was successful in venting my anger at last.

Singing or more like shouting to maneskin's Beggin' and I wanna be your slave, that's my stress buster for the past few days and it helps.

Annnnnnnnddddddd....

Bts released the teaser to permission to dance and I saw it very late😅

so,

Question: what's your go-to stress buster?

I painted above an old scribbling, hehe.

That's my official first acrylic testing.