July 04, 2021

Dear Diary,

there is so much comparison everywhere, making it seem so hard to love myself. someone is prettier, beautiful, or slim or has a body with curves, nice booty, and whatnot. making it seem impossible to be different and different kinds of pretty. the standards seem to get high each day and it hurts my heart to see this every day cause I do try hard and then if I am not like that I start pointing problems in me. I think I just can vent somewhere and that would help me. I don't know how to deal with it. I love myself in fact way too much at times but then I have this weird need to look the best or style the best and its more about them than me, this is hurtful cause at times I find myself buying new clothes cause she got that and she looks pretty in that I wanna look that way. trying to be hold up enough idk. this was just a rant so. 

goodnight !