Dear Diary,
i am writing on the brink of breakdown just pushing it away just out of sight and not allowing myself to feel this boiling current.
i might be nearing my period but i am irritated and i hate the way things are. ive been figuring out this coding shit and i cant seem to get it and it's my second day to do this. It would feel ecstatic once you get to figure it out, but i hate that i overthink it so much, i cant accomplish it. Ive been trying to do my part with regards to insurance since yesterday. So I edited pictures, and shared them to all types of online groups just to see if some of them are interested. I learned on google that a lot of people have been insured since the past year especially brought about by the pandemic. It feels like it just lessened my chance to finding a client.
I already finished the coding course though. Another free course will be offered but I decided not to attend anymore as I want to be focusing on the insurance part. Another lesson that I've learned is that it's really hard juggling a lot of things. So I want to try letting go of one. I enrolled in the web dev course because I knew it was a hot path to take. Money is scarce and that path has a lot of possibilities to grow. I didn't come to the conclusion that I hated it, I just needed to be spoon-fed a lot of the time because I learn better that way, admittedly. If I wanted to pursue that, I would have to invest a lot of time and effort, which isn't so bad given that I kind of enjoy it. I'm just going to need a more patient teacher, per se.
The flexbox and div class elements are just going on the top of my head. prolly running in circles. I knew it wasnt a good idea to be absent that day, but I had to-my mom needed my assistance.
Recently i got my dog with me, finally. It was unexpected, especially budget-wise. But it wasn't so bad. I love my dog more than anything.
I wish I can just wake up and be okay. Live in a different house, learn to love my job and feel like I actually did something worth being proud of.