Dear Diary, it's a quiet day today, beautiful, not too hot. I am staying inside mostly, just my crafts, some cleaning, some organizing in a few rooms. Lately I have this feeling something big is going to happen, something major in my life. I noticed the change in my personality, not that I'm totally different, but a big part of who I was, how I used to be, is no longer there. A lot of things that used to matter, they don't matter anymore. A lot of things that didn't use to matter, now they matter so much. From other people's reactions, I can see they welcome it - but inside, I'm struggling to get used to it and at the same time struggling to get used to the inevitable new reality. It's not a question anymore, am I prepared for this. It's more like, I'd better be prepared for this, because it's coming my way regardless. In a way, doing housechores and having fun making colorful stuffs help me stay grounded, keep me calm.
Being anxious about the future is quite self-defeating. Not much I can do about it, other than be prepared for the worst and hope for the best. I can't tell the future anyway and change happens all the time. The last time something major, life-altering happened was around 6 years ago, but it started a few years before that, so I kind of had time to prepare. I can't imagine anything more life-altering, but again, I can't tell the future. So I guess, as they say, come what may.