June 14, 2021

 

Dear Diary,


Came home and showered and now I am relaxing in front of a fan on the floor. I am tired from work today.

I think we are grilling burgers tonight which will be nice. Kemper said he would make dinner. Which is even better! 

I still don't know how I am going to sit down and talk to him about the club. It will just be more for me than anything else. I know he won't stop. 

I still have not heard back from my dad when I emailed him. I guess that answers my question on whether he wants to communicate or not. I keep telling myself he is busy, it is getting to be fire season, he is tired, etc. But I know that email went through and I know he read it. So...maybe he forgot to respond. I hope that is it. 

You never realize how alone you are when you take inventory of the people who actually stay in touch with you without being prompted. If Kemper wasn't around, I would have the occasional email from my mom and that is it. 

I don't know how to fix it. I don't think you can. It seems when I do reach out, the silence is the loudest part of it all. It should tell me something, MOVE ON! My "friends" have their own thing going on and from what little I get from them, it doesn't seem to be my business or concern. I would love to share my life with them and to get more up to date with theirs but it never works out that way.


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