Dear Diary,
I sometimes think that I need to just stop trying. I need to quit worrying about my friend, my only friend. My other friend quit talking to me forever ago. And I will point out, I met these people online. I have never actually seen them in real life. That is how pathetic I am. I have no friends that are in my actual life, just online. And both are MIA.
Kemper is not what I would call a friend. We are in a relationship but there are things that I can't talk to him about very easily, like Ryan. He doesn't care for him and doesn't like hearing about it either. He listens for my sake but that is it.
I feel very alone most of the time. Kemper is definitely nice to have around and live with. It is my only human interaction. I can definitely count on him for anything besides anything to do with Ryan, haha!
He put me on his cell phone plan, I don't know if I have written about that so now I have a phone. He said I could pick out whatever I wanted but I got an Apple iPhone SE. It was the cheapest one they had. I don't like spending his money. I don't feel okay about it.
He said I could buy some clothes since I don't have much at all. I told him to take me to a second hand store but he won't. He said he can afford to buy me new stuff. So I bought a couple things on Amazon. Nothing very expensive at all and since I don't leave much anyway, it is mainly just gym shorts and tank tops.
He has been taking me to his nurse friend and I get regular checks since my kidney's are shot. I am on regular medicine and it seems to be controlled and stable, hopefully. I have been warned about drinking and doing drugs and to eat healthy and drink water and take care of myself.
Anyway, it is about lunch time and I am getting hungry and tired. I slept awful last night. I tossed and turned it felt like all night. Every time I looked at Kemper, he is completely passed out and sleeping so soundly like he has no care in the world. He also falls asleep almost immediately. I don't know how he does it.