Dear Diary,
Today my mother threatened to give away my dog. The things she said about him is evil. She said that she wants him to walk into traffic and get knocked down, she said that she wants to poison him and she also said that if she could clip her fingers and he disappears she would do it in a heartbeat.
The reason they are saying this is because my dog sometimes picks up trash and carry it around our yard. He only started doing this when I went away for a few weeks to visit my sister. Before I left, he was potty-trained and I taught him tricks, like sitting, barking on command, spinning, laying down and shaking hands. He's a pretty smart dog. When I left, they didn't want to walk him in the morning as I did so they let him outside to use the bathroom without watching him. Therefore, his behaviour was learned because of them. Not me. When I came back from away, and we were pulling up in the yard, the neighbour told me that I need to train my dog better because he was picking up garbage, I was shocked.
I made a rule to not let the dog outside unless on a leash and to make sure that the doors are closed. I followed them but my parents didn't. They left the gate open and continued to let the dog out to pee and poop in the morning without a leash. Now they are complaining about him to me like it's my fault. We had a huge argument today and I stood up for my dog. He's innocent. It's my job to protect him.
It's many things that cause me to have a deep hatred towards my parents but this one took the cake. Words can not explain how much I hate her. She is the most horrible person to have ever walked this earth and I sometimes wish she wasn't my mother. I'm thinking about giving my dog away to someone who will love him and treat him good. Why? He is not in a good environment and I think about his safety especially when I head back to college in September.
I feel like my parents will hurt my dog or throw him away. Yes, where I'm from, there are lots of people who drop off dogs in the middle of nowhere and abandon them. My parents are some of those people. We had three puppies along with the mother of the puppies. They dropped off 2 of the puppies and the mother of the puppy far away from our home. I was about seven years of age when that happened. I was honestly really sad about it and I think about it every day.
I can not stand my parents and I honestly wish I can run away. She constantly tells me how she wishes I was gone or far away from her just because I'm defending my dog. I feel the same way. If I had somewhere else to go, I was going but since I don't there's nothing I can do. I am at a point where I do not want to continue school and just move in with a friend or something. My mother is the epitome of toxic energy and I feel like she is mentally unstable. She is not alright in the head and is missing a few bolts. This is how I feel because the way she thinks is just crazy talk to me. The way she acts is crazy and it's annoying. I know she had a rough life but she needs to seek medical attention immediately.
I can't continue living with my parents anymore. I refuse to live here in this environment, any longer. If I loved myself, I would not stay here and put my self through this constant stress. Sometimes I get bad thought and think of ending my life because it's so stressful. I'm just tired of living here with a family who has no concern about anyone's wellbeing. If she was my mother she would think about how the way she acts affect me. I honestly think she wants me dead and she would do what she can to push me to my limit. However, I am afraid to die so that's not happening.