Dear Diary,
Kemper had noticed that I was crying and upset lately. He asked and I told him how I felt about Ryan lately. He said he would never let it happen again. I appreciate the sentiment but obviously it won't, he is still in a hospital recovering.
We had sex for the first time last night. Afterwards, I told him that I decided that I will fully accept him and the club. Although, I am still not sure what all that entails but it means to an extent to be by his side and accept that he won't tell me any of his club business EVER!.
I have been reading a lot lately. There is a library not far from here and Kemper takes me to it and he checks out books for me under his account. He spends most of his time in the movie section but surprisingly, every time I pick a book out he has read it before.
We go on a lot of rides lately, which is nice.
We have grown very close these past few weeks. He is kind and caring to me, which is something I haven't experienced before outside of family and a couple friends. Most guys I have been with, end up hurting and abusing me. Of course, I allowed it all to happen. I have made some very bad decisions and hopefully being with Kemper isn't another one of them.