Pieces of me
3/31/21
Did I ever know the real you? The whole time we were talking... Were you acting? Did you create a man you knew I'd love and hide the parts you thought I wouldn't? What don't I know about you... I'll always wonder what was real and what wasn't. It's torture. You have no idea what you're doing to me.
I need you to meet me... I need to kiss you, hold you. If I could see you, I could change your mind... I could change all of this and turn it all around...
Your wife texted me this morning. It was a conversation that helped this healing... It was a good conversation. But I think maybe only because I was somehow connected to you again. Talking about you, feeling close to your real life. Now that it's been hours since her and mines conversation ended... I'm right back to where I was. Desperate for you. To hear your voice again. But maybe it's a blessing in disguise that I'm not hearing from you. Maybe if I did, you'd be a different person to me. Maybe you'd treat me differently, speak to me differently. Maybe you do hate me now... I don't know how I'm ever going to accept that I might never really know you, hear you, meet you... I'm so fucking heartbroken. It's becoming real physical pain. I don't know what to do without you. I don't know how to be without you. You gave me so much of myself and I never realized it...
It is taking everything in me not to text and call and beg you to talk to me. I wish I could just erase you from my memory so I could stop this pain... So I could stop feeling numb and lost and like everything is pointless without you... Loading...